Resisting GLP1s - AKA leave me the eff alone.

I can’t possibly be the only one being endlessly bombarded from every direction by GLP1s.  Without fail, everytime I open any social media I see an ad every other swipe.  They know what to say to entice you to click.  Things like sign up online, help with insurance coverage,  low cost 6 month supply, reach your goals, become a healthier you, lose 20% of your body weight.  Ugh.

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I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t thinking about my weight.  Such horribly intrusive thoughts about how fat and ugly I was and subsequently how unlovable it made me.

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Of course being a non skinny child and teen of the 80’s and 90’s, I did all the diet things.  Big name brands like Weight Watchers, Slim Fast, Atkins, Jenny Craig. Crazes like cayenne pepper and lemon water, diet pills, water pills, cabbage diet, all the low fat snack foods, Olestra products (barf), sugar free (poot). Of course, I tried not eating at all as well as binging and purging.  I learned how to stick my fingers down my throat to force myself but also found that drinking vinegar made it even easier.  In more recent years, I tried to be vegan, then vegetarian. I tried another round of low carb, I did a fuel separating diet, and I even took a shot made of pregnancy hormones and only ate 500 a day for a solid year.  I could go on and on.  The point is that I have tried everything possible to be skinny and acceptable in the eyes of society.  

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All this wild dieting I was doing, came to a halt when I was pregnant and nursing. I had to give up a lot of these extremely restrictive practices in order to feed and nourish my children. Negative body image continued to cling to me and I swirled in a sea of guilt and shame. I remember reading a book that was essentially about diets and restrictions being unhealthy and unfair. Coupled with the amount of self loathing it bring and people were hitting their “fuck it” breaking points.  That concept of just not giving a shit about dieting anymore, and instead learning to listen to your body, was totally foreign. But it was also an absolute breath of fresh air. I couldn’t let the idea go. In addition to that, I started following people with body-positive mindsets on social media. I slowly started to like myself again. 

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With all that background, imagine me now, blasted in the face with GLP 1. It is so incredibly irritating.  I was finally feeling like I was in a place of acceptance for who I am.  I was also enjoying not worrying about weight and looks, and instead just enjoying food without guilt and movement without shame.  Now I am back to overanalyzing.  I am stressing about if I should try to use this drug or get left behind as the only fat person on Earth.  I was making such great strides toward accepting myself and in an instant, I am back to hateful self talk and endless comparisons.  

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Serena Williams, one of the most decorated athletes of all time, is pushing GLP1s SO HARD.  What does that mean for me? I just need to get in line. I want to believe I am strong and will persevere through yet another trend, but my resistance is wearing thin.

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Erin is a wife and a mother of three children, a crochet fiber artist and an avid reader of unabashedly spicy romance. She just completed her 15th year as a special education teacher. She’s dabbled in writing fan fiction and would like to explore writing more.

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