The Outreach of Chosen Family

Since time immemorial, the concept and need for family have been undeniable. It is evidenced throughout all forms of life on planet Earth. For humans, the pinnacle of His Creation, this unit begins with the women who bore us and our earthly fathers. We look to and are dependent upon our parents and elders in recognizing that their lived experiences can help us navigate and develop into productive contributors in the world. The size of one’s family is immaterial. How we relate to each other is significant and consequential.

While we would all like to experience congeniality, relationships can be challenging and complicated. The social, cultural, and even political norms can filter into how a parent would choose to rear their children. As their children mature, they may not share their parents’ choice, which can cause issues. Should there be siblings, they may or may not be a support in sharing your views. Enter the “Chosen Family!”

During our formative years, we have the experience of choosing friends. Some turn out to be easier to pal around with than others. We’re made aware of different personalities, temperaments, and how to navigate, albeit through trial and error. Along the way, we learn the importance of cultivating relationships and appreciating their value. Sometimes, those early childhood friendships can become a lifelong blessing. I can attest to still having a friend I met in third grade. We became Girl Scouts together!

Cultivating relationships with non-biological people, “Chosen Family” is an opportunity to expand our presence and outreach in the world. After all, we’re a part of one huge community of humanity, and there is so much to learn from each other in a variety of areas. I see “Friendship” as another word for “Chosen Family” and your “inner circle” of deep friendships, your safe space that has stood the test of time. To have trusted companions of different ages and ethnicities with whom we journey, who help us through the rough times, willing to listen with compassion and without judgment, is a special blessing in this life. There are some 25 Bible verses about friendship. Here are just two of my favorites: Proverbs 17:17 - “A friend loves at all times…” and Proverbs 27:9 - “A sweet friendship refreshes the soul.”

Unfortunately, recent statistics show an increasing number of lonely people. Here are some Key 2025 Findings & Trends (from various surveys):

• Prevalence: Roughly one-third (around 33-37%) of U.S. adults experience moderate to severe loneliness.
• Generational Divide: Gen Z (18-24) faces significantly higher rates (around 57%), while loneliness among older groups (45+) is rising, notes AOL.
• Age Groups: The loneliest group is shifting; some data shows 30-44 year olds reporting higher loneliness than 18-29 year olds, and a significant rise in loneliness among those 45+.
• Demographics: Lower income levels and having multiple racial identities are linked to higher loneliness.
• Health Impacts: Loneliness increases risks of heart disease, stroke, dementia, depression, and premature death, comparable to smoking 15 cigarettes daily. 

The Surgeon General's Role:

• Dr. Vivek Murthy (current/recent Surgeon General) declared loneliness a public health crisis in May 2023 with an Advisory, emphasizing its severity.
• He continues to advocate for solutions, highlighting digital connection gaps and the need for "third spaces" (community places) and deeper friendships. 

Loneliness remains a major U.S. health concern, with different age and demographic groups experiencing it differently. In our fair city of Portland, there are two organizations that stand out to me who focus on connecting community members. One is Bridge Meadows, now in its 14th year. It is a Multigenerational Housing Community that creates and inspires intergenerational communities, enriching the well-being of children, families, and elders. The other is Age Plus. They champion a new vision for successful and equitable aging for all Oregonians.

In closing, if you are a member of a “Chosen Family”, you are a vital contributor in ensuring the importance of investing in the community.

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Marcia is a third generation New Yorker. Her career has spanned the corporate sector, music, community outreach, and being the wife of an American Diplomat. She has taught drama, personal development in the US and abroad, served in Christian ministry and as a champion for Jazz education, and is an active participant in Portland's prolific Jazz community. A Jazz Radio Host for over 20 years, she is currently on KBOO Community Radio 90.7 FM with Jazz Lives! on alternate Wednesdays from 12:08-2 PM. Her widely recognized contributions has garnered multiple awards which includes Oregon Public Broadcasting's (OPB) highest volunteer honor for radio and television combined, the Jan Henderson Award for Leadership. For further information, see: Marcia Hocker's website